why does love hurt so much?
by foreverintheunknown17
Summary: just chuck's thoughts about his experiences with blair. spoilers through episode 1.10.


hey everybody! i know im not good at writng c/b fics but i'll give it a shot!

I just stood there in shock. I felt like my heart got torn into 2,397 pieces, and this is a brand new level of emotion. I think people call it heart-break. Whatever it was called I was sure feeling it, cause I was not prepared to see Blair go back to Nate that quickly. I felt like a complete idiot, I actully thought she would have feelings for me. Maybe i should have taken the hint when she told me it was over, but stupid persistent me had to go after her. Wait, I know what your thinking what was over? Why did I get heart-broken? I'll start from the beginning.

It all started the night Blair came to the Victrola after her and Nate broke up. She had a few drinks and she danced up on stage, that's when I realised what beauty she had and how gracefull she was. On the ride home I complemented her on how great she was up there. Then she leaned in and kissed me, and I asked if she was sure. Which by the way I never do, anyway one thing led to another and little miss virgin was no longer one if you get my point. When I got home and went to sleep I couldn't get her out of my head. All I could think about was her body against mine and the feeling I got when I kissed her. Then I got this strange feeling in my stomach it felt like fluttering whenever I thought of her. Was it? No, it wasn't butterflies! But it was and that was when I realised that I had feelings for Blair.

Well let me skip up to her 17th birthday party 2 days later. I was on the balcony with her and she said I nauseated her and crap like that. Then she accused me of being jealous of Nate. I told her I wasn't but I guess I didn't have my poker face cause she saw right through me. She asked me if I liked her and then I got that feeling in my stomach again when I got the thought of me liking her. I knew I couldn't lie anymore so I just simply said, "define like." Of course being Blair she was horrified and thats when I told her about the butterflies. She told me to murder the butterflies but she didn't realise how hard it was going to be. Later on after midnight Nate didn't call her. Surprise, surprise. Then she told everybody that they broke up and then said something directly to me. She asked if I was satisfied. I was far from satisfied, because I always hated seeing her hurt. A few minutes later I came into the room she was in carring a square box. She was being a smartass asking if that was our sex tape but then I revealed the necklace she wanted for her birthday. Hey I maybe a jerk but I do have manners. I put it on her and I told her that she was beautiful. Now the butterflies were basicly eating my stomach cause I was very nervous. Then she kissed me and well you know the rest. Let me just say it felt even better than the first time. I made her feel cherished and loved cause that was exactly how I felt.

Things between me and Blair were working good. Having her close to me made me feel so how can I explain it, happy. That was until a certain best friend of mine wanted her back. When I over heard her saying that she would go to the ball with him I felt this ache in my heart. Was it jealously? No it couldn't be i'm Chuck Bass I don't get jealous, but then I remembered that this was no ordinary girl. It was Blair. Through out the week she basicly locked herself in my mind cause she was my every thought. I knew I had to find a way to seperate Nate and Blair. That's when I got the idea that Carter was having an affair with Blair. So I tipped of Gossip Girl about it and then the next thing I knew the whole Upper East Side knew including Nate. Man did Blair look gorgous at the ball. I couldn't help but stare at her. She was just so beautiful and I thought that later that night she would be mine. Well eventully Nate ended up punching Carter in the face and he had to leave. Later that night I found Blair and I danced with her. Having her close to me again felt wonderful. But unfortunatly Blair pieced it together that I was behind it. She also told me I did it because I didn't want to see her happy. That was so far from the truth but anyway, she told me it was over and then she stormed off. I felt like a complete jerk so I ran after her. When I went up the stairs to find her thats when I saw it. I saw Blair making out with Nate. I felt like she ripped my heart out and gave it to me. Then Nate had the nerve to smirk at me before heading in the room. So you know what I did? I packed my things and left went to the airport.

Now i'm sitting in one of my dad's hotels in Aspin just thinking about my life. Now I can't get the image of Blair and him together. Whenever I think about it it makes me sick. But if there back together why do I still feel this way towards her? I still feel the fluttering whenever I think of her. My head wants to be over her but my heart is telling me to love her. Well at least I can escape from her. For now.

Well I hoped you liked it! plz review!!


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